For a while now, there would be occasions when we'd be in the kitchen or putzing around, just generally talking and living together in our way, and R would say, "you know about the 30% rule, right?" And I would usually say that it sounds familiar, you've mentioned it before, but I don't remember. "Tell me again?" And he'd say, no, nevermind, I'll tell you another time, or, "You'll just get mad."
(That last statement can be a really leading one, as you might guess. At least half the time, I want to know! What will make me mad! Which is pretty stupid if you think about it. Occasionally I am smart enough to let it go. Other times, I press.)
Not too long ago, I really did want to know, finally: What is the 30% Rule?
The basic concept is this: if someone makes a statement that is inaccurate or incorrect, but they are not more than 30% wrong, you do not need to correct them. How do you know if it's more than 30%? You use your best judgement. Will there be major consequences if this statement goes uncorrected? If yes, it's probably more than 30% and you should say something. If not, let it go. Otherwise, you will look like a know-it-all, petty jerk. But by not saying anything, you leave the person responsible for their own statements (which they are anyway) and you save yourself from making an unnecessary and grudging contribution to the conversation. Even better, you improve your ability to THINK before you SPEAK. Some people are naturally good at this. Some of us need to work a little harder on engaging the brain matter before the vocal chords. I fall into that latter category. Ahem.
R learned it from the owner/president of his former company, and he says it has really helped him think, listen and contribute more meaningfully in professional scenarios. I've found it has helped me at work, too.
But it was at home that R finally schooled me on the 30% Rule after this exchange: We were making dinner, had something in the oven, and a timer set as a reminder for when it would be done. He checked the timer, which said "4:53", and said, "Wow, only four minutes left." And what do you suppose I said? "Five. Yes, it's almost done."
Now. Not a big deal, you may say. It WAS closer to five than four. But did it matter? Really? Why correct him? Did that missing minute mean dinner would be ruined? That he would never learn to cook? Of course not. But it was a good--if small--example of how correcty I can be. I sort of knew that about myself, but wow, once you start paying attention, you notice it a lot more. Speaking for myself, of course.
I shared the Rule with my parents when they were in town recently. I've noticed for a long time that when they share a story (which they enjoy doing) one or the other or both are constantly chiming in with a correction.
"So we get in their huge SUV--"
"It wasn't HUGE."
"Well, it was pretty big."
Etc. Every few minutes.
Now maybe that's just 40 years of marriage, but I think we can all learn new tricks. So I shared the 30% Rule with them and said they might try it. I hoped pointing out their correcty habit wouldn't make them feel bad, and I also hoped it wouldn't make me seem even MORE correcty and know-it-all-ish. We're pretty open about stuff, so I figured I could go there, and they were fine, even thoughtful about it. I can't wait to see them again and see if they put it into practice.
Are you correcty like me? Or do you find it easy to let things slide?
May 19, 2010
February 12, 2010
moody
I still have a long way to go on the master bedroom, but I'm already fantasizing about some updates for the dining room. I really want to interject some punches of color, modern patterns and a youthful feeling to this room, but still have it flow well from the entry (which also needs a ton of work) and the more serene living room.
I also have to get R on board with my desire for some of these more contemporary touches. He is a traditionalist at heart despite a few flirtations with modern designs, particularly the art deco period. He also tends to default to pieces that complement the period of the house -- something I absolutely appreciate. I put together a couple of mood boards to help him (and me!) visualize the directions the room could go.
The blue floral pattern is our current rug, which will stay. It's even a little more muted than it appears, and has some gold, yellow, pink and rust colors throughout. We have four very long, very dark brown velvet curtains in the sun room that overpower the small space, and R wants to repurpose those to the triple window in the dining room. I used them as the guide for coming up with a softer balance to their heavy visual force in this "Modern Deco" mood board. I think a pale pink paint would connect with some of the colors in the wool rug and look great behind the chocolate brown. And with our usual bright white trim, of course.
Besides the rug, the other two elements that carry over between both boards are the dining room chairs and the expedit shelving from ikea. We want to have one location for the bulk of our books, and these shelves would bring in a sort of library feel to the dining room, an idea I love. Sort of like this, only our ceilings are definitely not that tall:
In the mood board is a period style art deco chandelier that I think Jeff will like best, but this is another one I thought captured the "youthful" feeling I seem to be going for. Probably too trendy but I still like it.
The Brinkley Girls poster is actually the cover of a book, but it's so beautiful I think I could find a way to make it an art piece. I also think it offers a clever nod to the period of the house and introduces a bit more color in an otherwise "safe" palette.
Lastly are a couple of images of vases that resemble my Sascha Brastoff pottery pieces, and a lampshade from anthro that could be used with one or both of our existing cheesy Home Depot floor lamps that R and his brother bought when they first moved in.
The Modern and Bright mood board leans toward bold additions of color.
The picture of the egg chair is really for the paint color (though I would take that chair in a heartbeat). This rhubarb shade could either be limited to the wall of windows where the sideboard is, if not painted throughout the whole room. It draws on the bits of rust in the rug and in the sunny curtains from anthro.
I like the idea of using yellow as the accent color, so I included the Ork San Francisco poster we already have, an Orla Kiely lampshade I have wanted for ages, and some Dwell Studio linens I thought were in the right family. It might be too much pattern. Finally, I love this reproduction midcentury chandelier, which I think ties in perfectly with our dining room furniture.
What do YOU think? Is one a clear winner? Or do I need to go back to the drawing board?
I also have to get R on board with my desire for some of these more contemporary touches. He is a traditionalist at heart despite a few flirtations with modern designs, particularly the art deco period. He also tends to default to pieces that complement the period of the house -- something I absolutely appreciate. I put together a couple of mood boards to help him (and me!) visualize the directions the room could go.
The blue floral pattern is our current rug, which will stay. It's even a little more muted than it appears, and has some gold, yellow, pink and rust colors throughout. We have four very long, very dark brown velvet curtains in the sun room that overpower the small space, and R wants to repurpose those to the triple window in the dining room. I used them as the guide for coming up with a softer balance to their heavy visual force in this "Modern Deco" mood board. I think a pale pink paint would connect with some of the colors in the wool rug and look great behind the chocolate brown. And with our usual bright white trim, of course.Besides the rug, the other two elements that carry over between both boards are the dining room chairs and the expedit shelving from ikea. We want to have one location for the bulk of our books, and these shelves would bring in a sort of library feel to the dining room, an idea I love. Sort of like this, only our ceilings are definitely not that tall:
In the mood board is a period style art deco chandelier that I think Jeff will like best, but this is another one I thought captured the "youthful" feeling I seem to be going for. Probably too trendy but I still like it.
The Brinkley Girls poster is actually the cover of a book, but it's so beautiful I think I could find a way to make it an art piece. I also think it offers a clever nod to the period of the house and introduces a bit more color in an otherwise "safe" palette.Lastly are a couple of images of vases that resemble my Sascha Brastoff pottery pieces, and a lampshade from anthro that could be used with one or both of our existing cheesy Home Depot floor lamps that R and his brother bought when they first moved in.The Modern and Bright mood board leans toward bold additions of color.
The picture of the egg chair is really for the paint color (though I would take that chair in a heartbeat). This rhubarb shade could either be limited to the wall of windows where the sideboard is, if not painted throughout the whole room. It draws on the bits of rust in the rug and in the sunny curtains from anthro.
I like the idea of using yellow as the accent color, so I included the Ork San Francisco poster we already have, an Orla Kiely lampshade I have wanted for ages, and some Dwell Studio linens I thought were in the right family. It might be too much pattern. Finally, I love this reproduction midcentury chandelier, which I think ties in perfectly with our dining room furniture.What do YOU think? Is one a clear winner? Or do I need to go back to the drawing board?
October 22, 2009
What about McCobb?
Because I am forcing Dave to take the Cruella DeVille dining room table and chairs when he moves, I have been on the hunt for a new dining set.
I really have no idea what my budget should be, just that it is necessarily small. I am feeling woefully house-poor these days, so naturally, I turn to ebay.
Somewhere between Sterling Place and Cathedral Ave, I have somehow grown to be ratherpickydiscerning about furniture, much to my surprise. This does not jive all that well with the budget issues.
My searches lately are targeted at my favorite (of the moment) mid-century designer, Paul McCobb.
I initially became familiar with his famous Planner Group series, distinguished by the era's slender tapered legs, clean geometric lines, and modular ingenuity.
From Lost City Arts:
McCobb, who never received any formal design training, first established a studio in 1945. He worked primarily as a decorator and retail display designer, eventually turning his attention to furniture: by 1950, B.G. Mosberg was marketing his stylish, affordable Planner Group.
McCobb's pieces were flexible and practical, designed to meet the needs of post World War II middle-class lifestyles. For example, his "living walls", complete with moveable room dividers and storage systems, allowed for maximum efficiency in limited spaces.
He became a household name in the 1950's, earning himself the nickname "America's Decorator". His work was exhibited at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, and the Merchandise Mart in Chicago.
Recently I discovered a line he did for Calvin Furniture, which featured brass accents, elegant curves and the same slim profiles that defined his other lines.
I am nuts about these Calvin pieces.
These are the chairs that have captured my heart -- and unfortunately, eluded my budget.
Just gorgeous. But $2650 (obo) is a high price to pay when you don't even get a table to match. In fairness, I hunted around 1stdibs and have seen the same or similar pieces priced much higher, so I think the price is probably about right for the quality. But alas, it's beyond my reach.
But wait, what's this?
Why, that's a very similar McCobb set, and priced at $1800. It's hard to tell from the blurry photos what the condition is, and I don't think it's nearly as elegant as the other set of chairs, but this could work. And it's somewhere in PA, so we might even be able to go check them out, if we feel like a road trip.
All of this is a bit premature, of course, as there is no move-out date determined yet. There is still a chance their deal could blow up, and we'll all be in the same house together, with the same evil dining room table, for some time to come. Plus, I am still grappling with a holistic vision. I don't want to end up with a totally eclectic collection of furnishings that don't make sense together and don't make sense for the period of our house. I'm still learning.
In the meantime, I am holding out for just the right thing, and I know you all appreciate that process. And how sometimes it can take a looooong time.
So I will keep enjoying my McCobb eye-candy, without clicking the "Bid Now" button.
Wow.
I do enjoy good design.
I really have no idea what my budget should be, just that it is necessarily small. I am feeling woefully house-poor these days, so naturally, I turn to ebay.
Somewhere between Sterling Place and Cathedral Ave, I have somehow grown to be rather
My searches lately are targeted at my favorite (of the moment) mid-century designer, Paul McCobb.
I initially became familiar with his famous Planner Group series, distinguished by the era's slender tapered legs, clean geometric lines, and modular ingenuity.
From Lost City Arts:
McCobb, who never received any formal design training, first established a studio in 1945. He worked primarily as a decorator and retail display designer, eventually turning his attention to furniture: by 1950, B.G. Mosberg was marketing his stylish, affordable Planner Group.
McCobb's pieces were flexible and practical, designed to meet the needs of post World War II middle-class lifestyles. For example, his "living walls", complete with moveable room dividers and storage systems, allowed for maximum efficiency in limited spaces.He became a household name in the 1950's, earning himself the nickname "America's Decorator". His work was exhibited at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, and the Merchandise Mart in Chicago.
Recently I discovered a line he did for Calvin Furniture, which featured brass accents, elegant curves and the same slim profiles that defined his other lines.
I am nuts about these Calvin pieces.
These are the chairs that have captured my heart -- and unfortunately, eluded my budget.
Just gorgeous. But $2650 (obo) is a high price to pay when you don't even get a table to match. In fairness, I hunted around 1stdibs and have seen the same or similar pieces priced much higher, so I think the price is probably about right for the quality. But alas, it's beyond my reach.
But wait, what's this?
Why, that's a very similar McCobb set, and priced at $1800. It's hard to tell from the blurry photos what the condition is, and I don't think it's nearly as elegant as the other set of chairs, but this could work. And it's somewhere in PA, so we might even be able to go check them out, if we feel like a road trip.
All of this is a bit premature, of course, as there is no move-out date determined yet. There is still a chance their deal could blow up, and we'll all be in the same house together, with the same evil dining room table, for some time to come. Plus, I am still grappling with a holistic vision. I don't want to end up with a totally eclectic collection of furnishings that don't make sense together and don't make sense for the period of our house. I'm still learning.
In the meantime, I am holding out for just the right thing, and I know you all appreciate that process. And how sometimes it can take a looooong time.
So I will keep enjoying my McCobb eye-candy, without clicking the "Bid Now" button.
Wow.
I do enjoy good design.
October 7, 2009
July 8, 2009
Beets me.
Do you like beets? Well, I HATE them. Then I made this Beet Salad for Rooster (he loves them). And now I’m sold. What a brilliant summer treat! Delicious, beautiful, simple and refreshing. Bonus: it’s awesome on a turkey sandwich (according to Rooster, natch). I found it in my How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman.
My modifications: Bittman has a variation in the book that substitutes carrots for half the beets, and I liked the sound of that. Also, do make the effort to use tarragon for the herb (or I've even used a tarragon vinegar). Use some parsley too, but the tarragon's flavor is perfect in this.
Equipment notes: I used the grater disc on my Cuisinart to shred the veggies rather than the blade. If you don't have a food processor, I'd almost say forget it. Shredding beets is messy, gory business.
Raw Beet Salad
Yield 4 servings
Time 10 minutes
1 pound beets (or .5lb each beets & carrots)
1 large shallot
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard, or to taste
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons sherry vinegar or other good strong vinegar
Minced parsley, dill, chervil, rosemary or tarragon
1. Peel the beets and the shallot. Combine them in the bowl of a food processor fitted with the metal blade, and pulse carefully until the beets are shredded; do not puree. (Or grate the beets by hand and mince the shallots; combine.) Scrape into a bowl.
2. Toss with the salt, pepper, mustard, oil and vinegar. Taste, and adjust seasoning. Toss in the herbs, and serve.
June 4, 2009
the evils of ebay
Recent spoils.
I have always been fond of tea, and often have a cup of peppermint tea to aid in digestion after dinner and settle myself down before bed. On weekends it's nice to make a big pot for us both to pour from throughout the afternoon, but I haven't had a teapot big enough to hold more than two cups. This one should fit the bill. The mottled coloring on the chrome are water marks the seller didn't clean off before she took pics. I hope.
Vintage Gainey pottery white cylinder pot:
My new color scheme for the bedroom is white on white. I want to keep it as light and clean as possible, especially during the summer as it gets really hot up there. Rather than an airy feminine approach, I am going for sleek and architectural. We have a few plants in front of the window, and this simple cache pot sets off their greenery against a pristine background so nicely.
Another white piece for the bedroom. Isn't it fantastic? When we painted, we moved a Brazilian leather folding chair and footstool out of the way and out of the room, and never got around to putting it back. We thought the leftover space would be perfect for a bench just inside the door, parallel to the bed. It will make a great place to sit and put shoes on or toss a magazine onto instead of the floor. I can think of other things to do on this bench, too.
I started collecting Sascha Brastoff pieces after I moved down to DC. His mid-century Los Angeles shop produced a number of motifs, from Eskimos to floral, but I love the golds, teals and browns evident in this stripey lamp. It will go perfectly with a couple of his vases I already own, and I have just the spot for it in the living room. Will need to get a shade for it.
Petite faux bamboo tole pagoda chandelier:
So, there's the loot. Some deals were hotter than others but ouch! It adds up. I must stop. Must. Stay. Away.
Vintage white teapot with chrome insulator cover:
I have always been fond of tea, and often have a cup of peppermint tea to aid in digestion after dinner and settle myself down before bed. On weekends it's nice to make a big pot for us both to pour from throughout the afternoon, but I haven't had a teapot big enough to hold more than two cups. This one should fit the bill. The mottled coloring on the chrome are water marks the seller didn't clean off before she took pics. I hope.
Vintage Gainey pottery white cylinder pot:
My new color scheme for the bedroom is white on white. I want to keep it as light and clean as possible, especially during the summer as it gets really hot up there. Rather than an airy feminine approach, I am going for sleek and architectural. We have a few plants in front of the window, and this simple cache pot sets off their greenery against a pristine background so nicely.Mid-century bench:
Another white piece for the bedroom. Isn't it fantastic? When we painted, we moved a Brazilian leather folding chair and footstool out of the way and out of the room, and never got around to putting it back. We thought the leftover space would be perfect for a bench just inside the door, parallel to the bed. It will make a great place to sit and put shoes on or toss a magazine onto instead of the floor. I can think of other things to do on this bench, too.Vintage Sascha Brastoff lamp base, signed:
I started collecting Sascha Brastoff pieces after I moved down to DC. His mid-century Los Angeles shop produced a number of motifs, from Eskimos to floral, but I love the golds, teals and browns evident in this stripey lamp. It will go perfectly with a couple of his vases I already own, and I have just the spot for it in the living room. Will need to get a shade for it.Petite faux bamboo tole pagoda chandelier:
She's not very big, but she's very adorable. Can you see the little bells hanging between the lights? Sigh. I originally planned to hang it in my little attic office to replace the track lighting that I hate, but now I might have other plans for it. Rooster is not a fan. I don't care, I love it!
So, there's the loot. Some deals were hotter than others but ouch! It adds up. I must stop. Must. Stay. Away.
May 27, 2009
Updates on various
March?! Whoa, I didn't realize it had been that long since my last post. Man, I wish I would write more, although honestly there's not much to report. I don't know what I've been doing all this time, other than being preoccupied about the following things:
The House, part I: Conversations with D have begun, mostly on Rooster's part. Things are amiable, if uncertain. I think D has begun looking around, but here's the thing: he would like to continue living in this neighborhood. This creates a few challenges. 1, Apparently in the last few months, our neighborhood has become HOT. Houses on the market go under contract in less than a week. With it's surge in popularity, there's not a lot of product. (I guess SOME people have money right now -- how are they affording these prices?! This shit is spendy, people!) 2, the value of the house has probably gone up. Good, right? Well, that means that D's equity is worth more, so that means more cash we need to have available to pay him out. Fortunately, we have been saving lots of cash. Unfortunately, paying him out will wipe that all out, pretty much. Just as it would if we were to try to buy something ourselves. I really don't want to be sitting with zero at the end of all this, but R thinks we can do some finagling with refinancing or getting an FHA loan to put us in a better position with monthly payments and the cash question.
Then of course there's the more interpersonal elements of timing and potential awkwardness and what D's plans are (mawwage?) . . . so it's primo obsessive mental material.
The House, part II: In between thinking about ownership and roommates and loans and money etc, I fantasize and create lists upon mentals lists of all the things I would like to paint, build, decorate, remodel, demolish and design. But then I remind myself that we may end up with no money after this whole ownership thing is dealt with. Sad face.
We did get new sheets though! I love them. They were also spendy, but on a discount and at a locally owned business, so I went for it. I still have plans to do more painting in my office and finish the whole upstairs suite, but we've stalled at a half-painted turquoise wall in my office and bare light fixtures in the bedroom and hallway. Ghetto.
My body, part I: I guess it's just aging. Feels fluffier, more in the way. Makes me feel bad about myself. Then I feel stupid for feeling bad about myself because of my body. Blah blah blah boring.
My body, part II: Looking for a new doctor. Taking a daily vitamin. Staring at babies. Blah blah blah boring.
Food: Was going to go on the Joshi detox diet but still haven't gotten around to it. Traveling and guests and wine and oh my god the strawberry rhubarb pie i made for mother's day. Lentil soup for dinner last night. The most incredible grilled halibut over the weekend. Israeli couscous with chopped grilled vegetables. Chilly gazpacho. Chunks of watermelon.
My store: Been talking about my store idea more, which still isn't much. I figure the more I talk about it the closer I will get to knowing whether I think it's really a good idea or not, and if it is, whether not I'd ever want to go for something like that. It always seems to circle back on one critical element that I would need, though. PENNY.
Miss you girls.
The House, part I: Conversations with D have begun, mostly on Rooster's part. Things are amiable, if uncertain. I think D has begun looking around, but here's the thing: he would like to continue living in this neighborhood. This creates a few challenges. 1, Apparently in the last few months, our neighborhood has become HOT. Houses on the market go under contract in less than a week. With it's surge in popularity, there's not a lot of product. (I guess SOME people have money right now -- how are they affording these prices?! This shit is spendy, people!) 2, the value of the house has probably gone up. Good, right? Well, that means that D's equity is worth more, so that means more cash we need to have available to pay him out. Fortunately, we have been saving lots of cash. Unfortunately, paying him out will wipe that all out, pretty much. Just as it would if we were to try to buy something ourselves. I really don't want to be sitting with zero at the end of all this, but R thinks we can do some finagling with refinancing or getting an FHA loan to put us in a better position with monthly payments and the cash question.
Then of course there's the more interpersonal elements of timing and potential awkwardness and what D's plans are (mawwage?) . . . so it's primo obsessive mental material.
The House, part II: In between thinking about ownership and roommates and loans and money etc, I fantasize and create lists upon mentals lists of all the things I would like to paint, build, decorate, remodel, demolish and design. But then I remind myself that we may end up with no money after this whole ownership thing is dealt with. Sad face.
We did get new sheets though! I love them. They were also spendy, but on a discount and at a locally owned business, so I went for it. I still have plans to do more painting in my office and finish the whole upstairs suite, but we've stalled at a half-painted turquoise wall in my office and bare light fixtures in the bedroom and hallway. Ghetto.
My body, part I: I guess it's just aging. Feels fluffier, more in the way. Makes me feel bad about myself. Then I feel stupid for feeling bad about myself because of my body. Blah blah blah boring.
My body, part II: Looking for a new doctor. Taking a daily vitamin. Staring at babies. Blah blah blah boring.
Food: Was going to go on the Joshi detox diet but still haven't gotten around to it. Traveling and guests and wine and oh my god the strawberry rhubarb pie i made for mother's day. Lentil soup for dinner last night. The most incredible grilled halibut over the weekend. Israeli couscous with chopped grilled vegetables. Chilly gazpacho. Chunks of watermelon.Miss you girls.
March 16, 2009
In like a lion
What a week. Or three. I've been on the road or in the bed for so long now, even being back in the office is a comfort. From Baltimore to Los Angeles to Florida, I'd been battling a sore throat for over a week. Turns out it was strep, and while I was in Destin for a work meeting it got REALLY bad. Emergency room bad. The strep had caused me to develop a peritonsillar abscess -- basically a big (and expanding) sac of fluid lodged next to my right tonsil. There were some major intravenous antibiotics, pain killers and a big needle involved. Thankfully my work duties were over and I was able to spend a lovely afternoon recovering on the beach with A on Friday, and then we spent relaxed rainy Saturday shopping and seeing a movie. It was so good to spend time with her. The pain meds were nice, but time with my friend was truly just what the doctor ordered.
Finally made it home on Sunday and I can't tell you how excited I was to finally see J. He was traveling too but was scheduled to return a few hours after me. Though still a bit delirious from having to catch an airport shuttle at 4:00 am, I dumped off my stuff, made a grocery store run, tidied a bit, smelled up the house with a big pot of italian bean soup, and lit some candles for a cozy, homey arrival. I admit I ran outside when his car pulled up and kissed him out on the sidewalk. A bit dramatic, but I missed him so much.
It's chilly and damp today, but spring is on its way. We have hundreds of bulbs pushing their way through the front yard and preparing for their big debut. I can't wait to see how they look. We have two waves now; some summer bulbs we planted on the day we got engaged, and last year we planted another big supply of early bloomers. I am ready for some color around these parts.
Finally made it home on Sunday and I can't tell you how excited I was to finally see J. He was traveling too but was scheduled to return a few hours after me. Though still a bit delirious from having to catch an airport shuttle at 4:00 am, I dumped off my stuff, made a grocery store run, tidied a bit, smelled up the house with a big pot of italian bean soup, and lit some candles for a cozy, homey arrival. I admit I ran outside when his car pulled up and kissed him out on the sidewalk. A bit dramatic, but I missed him so much.
It's chilly and damp today, but spring is on its way. We have hundreds of bulbs pushing their way through the front yard and preparing for their big debut. I can't wait to see how they look. We have two waves now; some summer bulbs we planted on the day we got engaged, and last year we planted another big supply of early bloomers. I am ready for some color around these parts.
January 5, 2009
My year in cities
There were a number of milestones in 2008 for me, but for now here's a list of cities I visited in 2008, the only rule being: one or more nights were spent in each. The list is longer than I expected!
- Amelia Island, FL
- Harleysville, PA
- Denver, CO
- New York, NY
- Birmingham, AL
- Albuquerque, NM
- San Francisco, CA
- Columbia, SC
- Rehoboth Beach, DE
- Rendezvous Bay, Anguilla
- Hyannis, MA
- Boston, MA
- Grapevine, TX
- Dallas, TX
- Atlanta, GA
- Cheshire, CT
- Penngrove, CA
December 19, 2008
friday five fotos - x-mas edition
A motley stocking crew:
Once upon a time there were two Jewish boys who demanded they get stockings like all the other kids in the neighborhood. True story.
Not Martha Stewart, but still festive.
Christmas lights make me happy.
December 15, 2008
The overdue HLC post
I have reincarnated the Hateful Little Corner. The devilishly red little desk that was the setting of so many moments (hours, days, months) of my self-flagellation. The symbol of the shit, booze, drugs, the confusion, fear, pain, the hedonism of days past. That refuge from health and balance and serenity. It has been prettified. Stripped, sanded, painted, relocated to the office on the second floor; the room with good light. It is going into a witness protection program. But I will know. I will always know.
It was the first piece of new furniture I ever bought for myself. Found it at a funky place in L.A., on La Brea. It was $450, but I talked him down to $400. That was in 1999. I knew it was overpriced, but I didn't really care. It was the only thing that wasn't a hand-me-down in my studio apartment in Beechwood Canyon.
I took my time with this project. The inspiration began when I refinished the little cabinet that was part of what K used to call my "chippy yellow" collection. The steps were simple, really, good for a beginner. I sanded it down, painted it a bright glossy white, and add some cute knobs from Anthropologie.
I decided to do the same with the desk. This time I had a little more experience. I spent a day sanding, slowly easing off the red stain, the layers of cigarette smoke, bits of candle wax, crushed pills in the grain. Ink spots, water rings. I primed it, sanded again, running my hands over the surface to be sure it was smooth, knowing I wouldn't be able to hide every imperfection. Nor did I need to.
A week later I finished it off with some thick and hardy coats of white enamel paint. Let them really dry well before starting with the next one. The original matching hutch piece doesn’t work with the new office layout, so I’m using it as a makeshift bookshelf up in my other little nook. It is still red. While I was waiting for the desk to dry, I recovered an ikea desk chair with some boy-friendly Marimekko fabric, a little pattern to contrast the clean white.
There is no room in my life for the HLC that was. Fortunately, most of the time I don’t think about it, don’t remember how to get there. Other times, it is so hard to not go to that place. It beckons me almost obscenely, in a way that makes me want it, need it, like a hard fuck. Other times, it doesn’t even occur to me. It's just a different life now. A life where I use a coaster on the desk, which is just a desk, and no longer a hateful little corner.
It was the first piece of new furniture I ever bought for myself. Found it at a funky place in L.A., on La Brea. It was $450, but I talked him down to $400. That was in 1999. I knew it was overpriced, but I didn't really care. It was the only thing that wasn't a hand-me-down in my studio apartment in Beechwood Canyon.
I took my time with this project. The inspiration began when I refinished the little cabinet that was part of what K used to call my "chippy yellow" collection. The steps were simple, really, good for a beginner. I sanded it down, painted it a bright glossy white, and add some cute knobs from Anthropologie.
I decided to do the same with the desk. This time I had a little more experience. I spent a day sanding, slowly easing off the red stain, the layers of cigarette smoke, bits of candle wax, crushed pills in the grain. Ink spots, water rings. I primed it, sanded again, running my hands over the surface to be sure it was smooth, knowing I wouldn't be able to hide every imperfection. Nor did I need to.
A week later I finished it off with some thick and hardy coats of white enamel paint. Let them really dry well before starting with the next one. The original matching hutch piece doesn’t work with the new office layout, so I’m using it as a makeshift bookshelf up in my other little nook. It is still red. While I was waiting for the desk to dry, I recovered an ikea desk chair with some boy-friendly Marimekko fabric, a little pattern to contrast the clean white.
There is no room in my life for the HLC that was. Fortunately, most of the time I don’t think about it, don’t remember how to get there. Other times, it is so hard to not go to that place. It beckons me almost obscenely, in a way that makes me want it, need it, like a hard fuck. Other times, it doesn’t even occur to me. It's just a different life now. A life where I use a coaster on the desk, which is just a desk, and no longer a hateful little corner.
December 3, 2008
ruminating on rugs
I am hunting for a rug for what we call our "sun room," that little room off the dining room and next to the kitchen. The red sofabed and a brown leather club chair will live there, so the room needs a color that will work with both items. 
The red sofa is up against another red wall that is a darker and deeper shade. I think pale blue is going to work best and is more interesting than just beige or white. What do you think of any of these? And am I on point with the color choice?
I adore this tufted Thomas Paul rug so very much, but sadly it is out of my price range at around $1400 for an 8'x11'. It also comes in a 8' round version that would look really cool, but that's still a grand.
Another Thomas Paul design called "Flock." It's a dhurrie rug, so it's not plush, more like a coarse blanket. But I like the design and the price is right -- on sale for $650. This is the one I'm really leaning towards.
R tends to go for the more traditional, less graphic stuff, so I'm throwing this Pottery Barn "Maren" option in the mix. It runs about the same as the Flock rug above.
Another Pottery Barn option. This one is the right color family, but it seems a too cutesy for me. It hits our target price point though, at $500.
I'm also thinking of hanging some pretty drapes on either side of the entryway to the room that could be pulled shut to serve as a guest room in a pinch.
Would that be weird? I'm not sure if I should hang them IN the room, just OUTSIDE the room, or WITHIN the doorframe. I'm thinking in the room probably makes the most sense.
I should get paid to do this stuff, man. If the economy weren't in the shitter I'd seriously consider being a personal shopper. I rock the interwebs.
December 2, 2008
We used to drink on Tuesdays
Back when I was living in Hollywood, Polly and I would get together on Tuesdays after I got off work and go get into some kind of trouble. We didn't actively plan for it to be Tuesdays, and we saw plenty of each other throughout the week, but somehow Tuesdays stood out. Maybe because they were a particular demon and delight: attractive since they came around so quickly, yet deadly, for there was still the rest of the week to suffer through after we'd gone and done whatever it was we did. Often enough it was just a lingering dinner at out favorite Italian place, where we'd flirt with the waiters and have cocktails and delicate salads and huge bowls of spicy pasta and sambuca and cappuccino and whatever dessert they dropped off at our table on the house. Of course then we'd drive home, hands dangling cigarettes out the window, buzzing with food and booze and friendship. There were other escapades too, on Tuesdays, that involved other characters and substances and territory that I won't get into here.
I've been thinking a lot about Polly these days. And those years in L.A.
I submitted my grad school application, but my desire to get out of DC sort of outweighs my desire to pursue an advanced degree. It outweighs a lot of things, unfortunately.
I feel shitty about that.
I have been watching that HBO series about vampires. It's a totally soap opera, but I am addicted. And I've developed an unexpected partiality to the name "Sookie."
Go on, say it three times fast, I guarantee you'll be in love, too.
I've been thinking a lot about Polly these days. And those years in L.A.
I submitted my grad school application, but my desire to get out of DC sort of outweighs my desire to pursue an advanced degree. It outweighs a lot of things, unfortunately.
I feel shitty about that.
I have been watching that HBO series about vampires. It's a totally soap opera, but I am addicted. And I've developed an unexpected partiality to the name "Sookie."
Go on, say it three times fast, I guarantee you'll be in love, too.
November 5, 2008
Bright shiny morning
It's gray and damp in Washington this morning, but there is warmth in the air. Fireworks and cheering kept me up a little while last night. Today, the feeling of excitement is undeniable. R and I had coffee together this morning, something we never manage to make time for before work. We sat together, talked about this milestone we never thought we'd see. We watched Obama's acceptance speech on my laptop, and were moved by his words and the spectacle of it all. It feels like a new era, for better and for worse, but hope is truly alive again.See you in January, loves.
September 24, 2008
also, hair
I need a haircut. You know how my hair is. Anybody game for a Hair Thursday kind of thing, where you recommend cuts (with supporting photos) and I use your guidance to make a change?
I'm sort of contemplating bangs, but terrified I'll regret it.
OOT
I have been out of touch. Things are busy. Busy for everyone, I know.
I have written a few blahg entries but not posted them. They felt like they were trying too hard. Well, I WAS trying hard. I try to open the tap on my brain but all I ever get is foam.
There's a gloom in the air in this town; it mixes strangely with the gorgeous crisp fall weather we're having. Hitchcockian. There are Obama placards in windows and lawns -- like I said, we're a blue town -- but there is also a sort of quiet desperation in the eyes of the citizens. We are teetering on the edge. The rest of the nation...will it screw it all up AGAIN? To be so close and then possibly lose? It is a silent terror. We should be louder, I think, we should be outraged. I read somewhere that the Republicans cornered the market on outrage. The Dems are so tired, then. Their eyes ache from rolling. Their guts ache from disgust. They can hardly move their tongues to talk from the bad taste in their mouth leftover from Shrub.
They wonder if their houses are losing value. They take Metro and drive less. There are a lot of Smart Cars and Mini Coopers in my neighborhood. Gads of hybrids. And crumpled bags of McDonalds garbage on nearly every block, leftover from zoo tourists. I wonder how much garbage McDonald's is responsible for?
Don't let these thoughts fool you. I am the least politically minded I have ever been, I think. I am too complacent.
We talked with our housemate the other night. My brother-in-law. After several talks together and time to think on our own, Rooster and I decided there is no real reason to have D move out right now. A three-income household is a good thing. We take care of each other. God forbid he moves out and someone gets laid off (again). It could happen so easily, I see it all around. It was scary when it happened for us earlier this year -- it would be scarier now. So we will stay put, our little family, for a time. It is a unique experience anyway, a throwback to when families stuck together for stability. I would never have grown to know and love him quite the same if we hadn't shared a home this way. I treasure that.
I have written a few blahg entries but not posted them. They felt like they were trying too hard. Well, I WAS trying hard. I try to open the tap on my brain but all I ever get is foam.
There's a gloom in the air in this town; it mixes strangely with the gorgeous crisp fall weather we're having. Hitchcockian. There are Obama placards in windows and lawns -- like I said, we're a blue town -- but there is also a sort of quiet desperation in the eyes of the citizens. We are teetering on the edge. The rest of the nation...will it screw it all up AGAIN? To be so close and then possibly lose? It is a silent terror. We should be louder, I think, we should be outraged. I read somewhere that the Republicans cornered the market on outrage. The Dems are so tired, then. Their eyes ache from rolling. Their guts ache from disgust. They can hardly move their tongues to talk from the bad taste in their mouth leftover from Shrub.
They wonder if their houses are losing value. They take Metro and drive less. There are a lot of Smart Cars and Mini Coopers in my neighborhood. Gads of hybrids. And crumpled bags of McDonalds garbage on nearly every block, leftover from zoo tourists. I wonder how much garbage McDonald's is responsible for?
Don't let these thoughts fool you. I am the least politically minded I have ever been, I think. I am too complacent.
We talked with our housemate the other night. My brother-in-law. After several talks together and time to think on our own, Rooster and I decided there is no real reason to have D move out right now. A three-income household is a good thing. We take care of each other. God forbid he moves out and someone gets laid off (again). It could happen so easily, I see it all around. It was scary when it happened for us earlier this year -- it would be scarier now. So we will stay put, our little family, for a time. It is a unique experience anyway, a throwback to when families stuck together for stability. I would never have grown to know and love him quite the same if we hadn't shared a home this way. I treasure that.
September 4, 2008
Also: breaking news!
The Argentine BF sent me an email WHILE I WAS WRITING that last post.
Loco, verdad?!
Loco, verdad?!
So.
So I'm married. And it's great so far, almost one month in. It's regular. It's funny -- like haha, we make each other laugh, and also like weird! I'm married?
I was reading A's post and loving on her busy-happy-fulfilled existence that is shored up with the yoga and friends and parties and all sorts of excellent activities. I, it can be acknowledged, have none of those soul-satisfying things in this constipated town. Thankfully, though, my relationship with my husband gives me a great deal of soul satisfaction. That definitely helps make up for the grave lack of other stimuli. And yet, I would appreciate more details about those activities y'all might be engaged in, that are marginally or exponentially fabulous, m'kay? It'd be appreciated. FOR SERIOUS. (Can I get a F5?)
But tonight, I am enjoying a throwback to my NYC singledom, as it were. J had worky obligations, so I stopped in a neighborhood bar for a coupla jamesons and did the crossword and sudoku in the commuter paper, picked up a coupla slices at a surprisingly excellent local pizza spot for dinner, and here I am.
It's not me in a newsboy drunk as a skunk tracing "love" in the newfallen Brooklyn snow...but it still feels decadent.
Cheers girls. Wish you were here. And by here, you know what I mean.
I was reading A's post and loving on her busy-happy-fulfilled existence that is shored up with the yoga and friends and parties and all sorts of excellent activities. I, it can be acknowledged, have none of those soul-satisfying things in this constipated town. Thankfully, though, my relationship with my husband gives me a great deal of soul satisfaction. That definitely helps make up for the grave lack of other stimuli. And yet, I would appreciate more details about those activities y'all might be engaged in, that are marginally or exponentially fabulous, m'kay? It'd be appreciated. FOR SERIOUS. (Can I get a F5?)
But tonight, I am enjoying a throwback to my NYC singledom, as it were. J had worky obligations, so I stopped in a neighborhood bar for a coupla jamesons and did the crossword and sudoku in the commuter paper, picked up a coupla slices at a surprisingly excellent local pizza spot for dinner, and here I am.
It's not me in a newsboy drunk as a skunk tracing "love" in the newfallen Brooklyn snow...but it still feels decadent.
Cheers girls. Wish you were here. And by here, you know what I mean.
July 16, 2008
what i'm doing
Working on a brochure, reading boring tier-3 diaries, shopping online for ribbon and placecards, dealing with day five of a cold sore, managing my first real crisis-communications situation, trying to give the intern enough time to switch screens before I fully walk into her cube, trying to find enough work for the intern, clock watching, finally making dinner reservations in SF, looking forward to when I can have caffeine and booze again without screwing up my face, wishing I had worn something else today, drinking ginger peach green tea.
How 'bout you?
How 'bout you?
July 9, 2008
GDBD/BD/BD/BD*
god damn bad dreams
Every morning before the alarm goes off, bad dreams, anxiety nightmares. In one I am stranded at my parents house with no car, somehow no phone, and R and everyone else is in SF waiting for me. I cry thinking I've led R to believe he has been abandoned at the altar.
god damn bad day
Then the thumping panic attacks between each snooze button. These are work related, I think. I'm unhappy at the job. I am a big proponent of not staying where you are unhappy, but I am also more afraid of irresponsibility and being jobless. Focusing on grad school again. Dusting off the resume, for the application process, and also just in case. It is so hard to be motivated right now. Though yesterday we had a crisis and while initially it made me feel horrible and ineffectual, I was eventually able to appreciate it as a learning experience, which is why I took this job in the first place. I take deep breaths. I traipse around the interwebs. Too much.
god damn big decision
Trying to select a wedding band has been a pain in my ass. R picked something very simple and plain, which is what I thought I would do too. We ordered two, but then I didn't like mine. I bought this funky looking thing from ebay, and then the post office lost it. And then it turned up again in the building. And it is HIDEOUS. I love it. R hates it, but it wouldn't work for a wedding band anyway, it is huge and bizarre. Back to the drawing board. I am now trying to decide between a way too expensive new ring from a famous maker, or a vintage ring from the 1920s that is only moderately too expensive. I have to decide SOON.
god damn big deal
Not really a big deal but I couldn't come up with anything else. Well, maybe it is, who knows. Yesterday I called LA girlfriend P to catch up, only she didn't answer the phone. College girlfriend S answered the phone, because they were hanging out. Now, S is the only one of my close college girlfriends that I did not invite to the GDBD. Because I have not actually spoken with her in years. The girl is notoriously bad at returning phone calls, emails, etc. So in the difficult exercise of keeping our guest list as small as possible, she came off the list. Now I feel like a huge asshole when she says, so how is DC, are you married yet? Ugh. I make her promise to call me back this week and catch up, wherein I will see if she can come and hope she won't be offended by this stupid fiasco. I genuinely would love for her to be there.
*Update: I emailed to tell her how great it was to talk to her and that I would love for her to come to the wedding and how much of a jerk I am for not making more of an effort to reconnect with her sooner. I feel simultaneously relieved and awful. But mostly just glad to talk to my old friend again, wedding drama be damned.
Every morning before the alarm goes off, bad dreams, anxiety nightmares. In one I am stranded at my parents house with no car, somehow no phone, and R and everyone else is in SF waiting for me. I cry thinking I've led R to believe he has been abandoned at the altar.
god damn bad day
Then the thumping panic attacks between each snooze button. These are work related, I think. I'm unhappy at the job. I am a big proponent of not staying where you are unhappy, but I am also more afraid of irresponsibility and being jobless. Focusing on grad school again. Dusting off the resume, for the application process, and also just in case. It is so hard to be motivated right now. Though yesterday we had a crisis and while initially it made me feel horrible and ineffectual, I was eventually able to appreciate it as a learning experience, which is why I took this job in the first place. I take deep breaths. I traipse around the interwebs. Too much.
god damn big decision
Trying to select a wedding band has been a pain in my ass. R picked something very simple and plain, which is what I thought I would do too. We ordered two, but then I didn't like mine. I bought this funky looking thing from ebay, and then the post office lost it. And then it turned up again in the building. And it is HIDEOUS. I love it. R hates it, but it wouldn't work for a wedding band anyway, it is huge and bizarre. Back to the drawing board. I am now trying to decide between a way too expensive new ring from a famous maker, or a vintage ring from the 1920s that is only moderately too expensive. I have to decide SOON.
god damn big deal
Not really a big deal but I couldn't come up with anything else. Well, maybe it is, who knows. Yesterday I called LA girlfriend P to catch up, only she didn't answer the phone. College girlfriend S answered the phone, because they were hanging out. Now, S is the only one of my close college girlfriends that I did not invite to the GDBD. Because I have not actually spoken with her in years. The girl is notoriously bad at returning phone calls, emails, etc. So in the difficult exercise of keeping our guest list as small as possible, she came off the list. Now I feel like a huge asshole when she says, so how is DC, are you married yet? Ugh. I make her promise to call me back this week and catch up, wherein I will see if she can come and hope she won't be offended by this stupid fiasco. I genuinely would love for her to be there.
*Update: I emailed to tell her how great it was to talk to her and that I would love for her to come to the wedding and how much of a jerk I am for not making more of an effort to reconnect with her sooner. I feel simultaneously relieved and awful. But mostly just glad to talk to my old friend again, wedding drama be damned.
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